A Gentleman and a Samurai
by ThinkChimerical
Summary: The adventures of virtual singing samurai on his rise to fame. Honor will be won, missions will be undertaken, and women will be pissed off by this effeminate Japanese gentleman. Involving historical dramas, tsunderes, and eggplants.
1. Chapter 1

** Author's Notes: So begins the odd adventures of Kamui Gakupo, our favorite Virtual Samurai. This story will chronicle his rise to fame. The other Vocaloids and UTAUloids will eventually appear in this story : Kurosaki Akira is the "Master" in this story, or the owner of the Vocaloids, and in this case, their inventor. He's my OC. As well as this, there are several Japanese honorifics utilized in this story, so if you have any questions, PM me. Special Thanks to Curlscat for Betareading this story. Please, read, review, and enjoy! Thank you. -ThinkChimerical**

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A Gentleman and a Samurai

A Kamui Gakupo Fanfiction

Chapter One: The Wayward Warrior

It was an exquisitely idiotic idea to slam straight into the crackling electric sign. But, Kamui Gakupo, who valued honor over common sense, did it anyways. He let out a fierce battle cry as he jumped off the rooftop, angling himself towards the adjacent building. He looked extremely majestic in the dying light, with a serene look upon his effeminate face, and his long purple hair streaming out like a feather behind him.

At least, he did until he smacked into his target. At that point he looked like a bug on windshield, twenty-two feet above the ground.

Gakupo hit the sign at seventeen miles per hour, which was painful enough, but the zap that came with it was even worse, a burst of sharp agony. He felt the charge zip from his face to his feet, interfering with his circuitry for a fraction of a second. That was enough. His thoughts instantly fragmented into billions of lines of code, making his head spin, and dispelling his animus far into the atmosphere.

There was an upside, however, to being a tangible computer program.

Somewhere, a little more than ten miles away, Kurosaki Akira, better known as Akii-san to his friends, and Master-P to his fans, noticed the failure on his monitor, and waited for his creation's back-up restoration program to run. If the test failed, he would have to spend a little over six months to reprogram the basic functions of Gakupo's ersatz frontal lobe, and another four finessing the finer parts of his personality.

Fortunately for the pair of them, the restoration program kicked in, and rapidly rebuilt the damaged system. When Gakupo's animus rejoined his body, he found himself flat on his back in the middle of the street, sparks swimming in his eyes. Around him, a crowd had started to cluster, and above him, a holographic box glowed, question marks swirling all over its sides.

"Touch it," commanded Akira's voice in Gakupo's head. "It's a present." No matter how far away his creation was, Akira could always hijack his brain and speak to him. Gakupo winced at his creator's unwelcome intrusion, but still stretched his hand heavenwards, and pressed his fingers to the semi tangible box.

A flash of light, and then, trumpeting celebratory music. An energetic, high- pitched voice announced:

"Congratulations! You've just unlocked UTAUloid Kasane Teto!"

Gakupo let out a grunt of disappointment and let his arm flop back on the pavement as he watched a vaguely humanoid figure form, pixel by pixel.

Teto's hair was pink, with drill-like pigtails flouncing off each side, and her face somewhat puckish. At the moment, a clearly annoyed look was plastered onto it.

"Well, you sure took your time, didn't you, Gaku-baka? You really are quite stupid, aren't you? Clearly that sign was electrified, and, when you hit it, you clearly would've had been killed. All you really needed to do was throw an eggplant about your size at the sign, and-ping! I would've been rescued."

She placed her hands on her hip, and glared down at him.

Gakupo closed his eyes for a brief second, and sighed. Then he muttered: "I only did this for Fujioka-san, you ungrateful little drill-head."

Teto's annoyance melted into rage.

"What did you call me, eggplant freak?!" she shrieked, pulling at her curls, almost as if she wanted to emphasize them. Gakupo, clutching his head in pain, sat upright, and desperately tried to regain his composure.

"I beg your pardon, Kasane-san. My hard-drive is a little scrambled after the electrocution. My wits must not be all in order."

Teto sniffed, still slightly irritated. "It must be, or you would've never insulted my beautiful curls."

"Indeed, they are lovely, Kasane-san. I apologize for giving you any inconvenience. Please give my regards to Fujioka-san. Perhaps next time she will not be so careless as to lose you in the energy space."

"I hope so," said Teto, returning to her normally cheerful demeanor. "That way you won't shake any more of your few remaining circuits loose. Thank you, Gakupo-san. See you around."

And with that, she pushed through the large crowd surrounding them, and skipped away, leaving Gakupo in the midst of the mob.

_At least now my debt to Fujioka-san is repaid_, thought Gakupo gloomily. _Now I just have to deal with these people. _

"Are you alright, miss?" asked a middle-aged man, hesitatingly bending down to offer him a hand.

_I AM NOT A WOMAN!_ Gakupo mentally screamed, but he let the man help him up anyways.

"Thank you, kind sir. I am perfectly fine," He said, in his deep, somewhat nasally voice.

The man flushed as he realized his mistake, then bowed politely.

"Ah. Forgive me."

"It is perfectly alright." Said Gakupo, pitching his voice higher, trying to save some face. He would've done anything, anything to make the man feel unembarrassed and to get the curious people to leave. Even pretend he was a girl. He bowed to the crowd, trying his best to cover his face with his hair as he did so. Hopefully, they wouldn't be able to identify him later, in case any word of this reached the press. "Sorry for the inconvenience," he apologized, before pushing through the crowd. He had people to see and places to go. Particularly a girl who worked in a maid café.

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**A/N: Oooh, who is Gakupo going to go see at a maid cafe? (Hint: It's a Vocaloid.) Bonus points and virtual cookies for any one who guesses correctly!**


	2. Cafe Black Bee

***A/N* Heeeeey Guys. I'd like to thank those of you that reviewed. You guessed correctly. Anyways, in this chapter Gakupo manages to annoy another girl, and fall flat on his back. Again. (I'm so creative, haha.) So... for those of you who have no idea what a maid cafe is, it's essentially a restaurant that has its waitresses act like maids in a private home, instead of, y'know, actual waitresses. For more info, wiki it. If you have any questions regarding honorifics or terms used in this story, pm me. Takeda Koji is my OC. Obviously, I don't own Vocaloid, so er...yeah. Look to the next chapter for plot development, "new" characters, and a little backstory. Read, review, and enjoy y'all. Thanks-TC**

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Chapter Two:

Café Black Bee

Gakupo looked around the maid café with mixed feelings. Partially, he was amused, because the interior of the café was pink, cute, and fluffy. On the other hand, he was vaguely disgusted, because most, if not all of the patrons were men. _(Well, there was that one group of women in a corner table, but they were foreigners, so they didn't count.)_ _Men_, he thought as he coolly observed the atmosphere, _should not inhabit this wonderful feminine fantasyland, especially not _these_ type of men_. In an age range from the teens to the late forties, they seemed just to…_pollute_ the atmosphere. Even he, effeminate as he was, felt uncomfortable in the café. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that all of the waitresses, who were dressed up like maids, were staring at him intensely, almost as if they were inviting him to take a swan dive off the nearest bridge.

But, he had a girl to wait for, and unfortunately, she worked _here_, of all places.

He leaned back, looking out at the big shop window, tipping his chair almost to the point where it would almost fall over.

And then he did.

For all of his elegance in the dojo and on the dance floor, in everyday situations, Gakupo was not an exceptionally graceful man.

It was sprawled on the floor that his younger sister found him, with a vaguely dazed expression on his face. She sighed, and shook her head.

"I leave you alone for barely ten seconds, and what do you do?" she asked. "Make a spectacle of yourself." She confirmed, not even allowing him to respond. She stepped over him and straightened out the chair.

Gakupo blinked, and looked up at her, eyes narrowed in confusion. Something was…off about her today. His sister, with her short green hair and pixyish face, usually drew stares, either of admiration or discomfort. Today however, she was getting a lot more stares than he was accustomed to. As he looked around the café, his overprotective brotherly instincts began to kick in.

"Gumi," he asked through gritted teeth. "Why in god's name are you wearing _cat ears_?"

Gumi looked down and blushed.

"Well, the manager, Sasaski-san, you know Sasaki-san, don't you? Well, anyways, Sasaki-san said we could attract so many more customers this way. You know. Because it's _moe_." She said rapidly, clearly hoping he wouldn't he wouldn't hear her.

Gakupo raised an eyebrow in skepticism. Wasn't it enough that her work uniform constituted mainly of a frilly, short maid costume?

"Gumi-chan, you're a fifteen year old girl. It is completely perverse that you're accommodating the fetishes of _otaku_ and _salarimen_. In every sense of the word."

Gumi angrily turned towards him.

"It's not your decision what I wear!" she exclaimed. "I'm not a kid anymore, Gakupo-nii-san! Besides_, I_ think it's cute."

Gakupo snorted with derision.

"Of course, if you're starring in some kind of illicit video." Gumi glared at him, and he couldn't help but laugh. She looked absolutely adorable when she was pouting. However, the laughing made his back hurt, and he decided he really needed to stand soon.

"Gumi-chan, help an old man up, won't you?" he pleaded, through his amusement.

Gumi sniffed, and turned away.

"I have tables to wait on," she said. "My shift is over in five minutes. If you're ready not to make fun of my life choices, then perhaps I shall accompany you home." She stalked over to the entrance, where another patron had walked in. She bowed politely, and sweetly said: "Welcome home, Master!" all traces of ire gone. Gakupo, still chuckling, slowly eased himself up off the ground, wincing a little at the pain. Falling flat on his back twice in one day could not be good for his systems.

"Excuse me, sir?" inquired a voice from behind him as he straightened himself out. He turned curiously, wondering what anyone could possibly want with him.

"Yes?" he asked warily. He found himself facing a middle-aged patron, slim and rather reptilian looking. He appeared to be a just another _salariman_, if a bit richer and less worn out.

" Is that woman," he said, gesturing towards Gumi. "Your sister?" he asked in tone that implied he already knew the answer. Gakupo felt somewhat suspicious, but there was nothing that immediately told him that this man was untrustworthy. _Aside from the fact that he was frequenting a maid café. _

"Yes," said Gakupo hesitantly. "In a manner of speaking. Why do you ask?"

The man inclined his head politely, and then handed him an eggshell white business card. It read: Red Lightning Talent Agency for Acting, Singing and Modeling, and then had a telephone number scrawled underneath.

"Thank you very much." Gakupo said warily. " I am Kamui Gakupo. It's a pleasure to meet you."

The man smirked, much to Gakupo's chagrin.

"A pleasure indeed. Sit down, sit down!" he said gesturing at the open chair opposite from him. Gakupo sat. "My name is Takeda Koji, and, as you can see by my business card, I work at the Red Lightning Talent Agency. Have you ever noticed that your sister bears a startling resemblance to a character in an anime?"

"I-" began Gakupo, but Takeda waved him away and began speaking at a rapid pace.

"Have you ever seen the anime Maid Megumi? Probably not. It was from the early nineties. Anyways, a certain studio _that shall remain nameless_ is planning a live –action adaptation of the franchise, a short television series, actually. I feel like your sister would be perfect for the main role. She looks exactly like her."

"Who?" asked Gakupo, now extremely confused.

"The main character!" Takeda exclaimed impatiently, as if he couldn't believe how slow Gakupo was. "Maid Megumi. It was one of those popular magical girl ones. You know the type. She would need an agent obviously, before she'd audition, but first we would need permission from a guardian."

"I…I'd have to ask my… _father_." Gakupo said slowly, thinking of what Akii-san would say. Takeda laughed wolfishly, which, oddly enough, sent a current of fear down Gakupo's spine.

"Oh, alright, fine, fine! Whenever you get the chance." Takeda said, standing, putting some bills on the table to cover his meal. He looked back at Gakupo. "Just don't take too long though. Opportunity waits for no man." The café's door chimed, marking Takeda's egress. Gakupo stared at the retreating figure through the glass door of the café, until he blended into the crowd.

"Who was that?" asked Gumi, coming up from up behind him. He turned to look at her, a bit concerned. He couldn't deny that his sister had talent, but she was so young…

"Ah, no one. I'll tell you later." He replied. _Best not to get her hopes up,_ he thought. Standing, he smiled. It was a beautiful evening, and the end of a long day. He wasn't going to let a suspicious man bother _him_. He had plenty of other things to worry about. He wrapped an arm around her, and gently lifted off her cat ears.

"You're my favorite sister, did you know that?" he said softly. Gumi looked up at him, smirking.

"I'm your only sister, stupid. Now give me back those ears!" she said, laughing. Gakupo sighed, and handed them to her. She shrugged out of his embrace, grabbing his hand. "Let's go!" she said, impatiently. " There's a Morning Musume graduation on TV tonight, Nii-san!" Gakupo laughed.

"Of course. We couldn't possibly miss that, now could we?" He said sarcastically. Gumi stuck out her tongue at him. "I'm kidding, dear. There is absolutely _nothing_ in the world I would rather be doing." Gumi frowned, and shoved him lightly.

"At least it's better than spending your nights stalking a certain pink-haired lady."

Gakupo gasped, and mockingly clutched at his chest. "Ah, my dear, you cut me to the quick!" He said. He then faked an elaborate dying scene, which earned him odd looks from the café patrons and giggles from his sister. He finished his act with an elegant bow. "Now, my lady," he said to Gumi, who was still laughing. "Would you allow me the honor of escorting you home?"

Gumi wiped a tear of mirth from her eye.

"Of course, good sir," she hiccupped.

So the two walked, hand in hand, out of the café and into a night colored with neon.


End file.
